Thursday, March 18, 2010
Sometimes I have a relapse and I start missing you when I know I really shouldn't but feelings tend to have a life of their own and the only thing I can do is to avoid or ignore them. They come and they go as they please.
But can I really say I miss you when your face does not even seem familiar to me anymore? I look at pictures of you and it feels strange. Like I know you but yet I don't. In my head this makes sense... but in words, it's pretty hard to explain. Without the memories your face is foreign to me. That's it... I suppose that's what it is. Your pictures, they fill in the blanks in the memories I have of us. That person is a whole different person though.
Why am I still ranting about this? I know what I want to do and what I want for myself at this point in my life and you my friend, you're not a part of it. Thank you for the polite msgs, maybe you can find other things to occupy your time that will help make you feel less guilty. What's done can't be undone. Guilt or no guilt, nut up and man up. Now leave me be.
1:23 PM