Yet another bright and sunny morning. I used to say the weather here reflects my mood but for the past few days it's been way too cheery next to me. It's picking up though. Or rather I'm picking up because I think I'm almost on par with this good day. Went to bed pretty late by normal standards... early by mine I reckon but was up at six still. About 3 hours later here I am. I think blogging is now my daily fix to just get rid of how I'm feeling before I conquer the rest of the day.
Been trying to keep busy, doing whatever that needs to be done. When I'm not sorting out the important stuff I'm either with kicking back with my friends that are still here or trying to do chores which I know won't get done once my days pick up and I get busier. Having need to distract myself and all that I've had a few goals in mind to want to achieve. Things I want to do before I get past my prime lol. I suppose I made a clear decision, and now as painful as it is to start my day thinking I'm alone or lonely coz everyone's left for the break and I pretty much am away from my rock and my family I know there are other things to worry about and deal with. It's almost the end of the year and boy what a year it's been. If you've read my blog since I've started it you know that at the very end of the year I do my reflections and resolutions post. I've been thinking of how I'd do it ... maybe with pictures and less words I dunno yet. But you'll see it when it's up. As for resolutions, I think I'm going to stop making them like I did when I started posting stuff here. I never really keep most of it anyway, I think resolutions for me are things I strive to do or changes I want to make but I never really took seriously. This time around I think I'd rather make goals, little achievable ones and work towards them. More satisfaction when it's achieved I reckon. I guess there really is a silver lining to every cloud, I'm tackling other issues head on now and keeping busy or trying to is helping me while I mend.
Furb (my friend who lives across the corridor from me)'s friend said something about being the stitches that heals her wounds. Say it with me now, "aaawwwwww." LoL but honestly that is really sweet and I need someone to do that for me. I guess my family back home and my friends are my stitches. You, yes you, if you're still here reading my page you served as one of my stitches too that is until recently when you turned into a cut that just added to my almost healed wound. The scar's going to be twice as deep now, probably a little more obvious too. Jo's already told me I'm a lil too harsh since me and the last one ended, he's afraid after this I'm going to turn cold and hard. I dunno hey, sometimes I just wanna stick to the fact that in order not to get your heart broken you gotta pretend you don't have one. But you gotta take the good with the bad, I can't appreciate having someone around if I didn't know how shite it would feel to not have them would I ? lol Enough talk bout you, I miss you still, heaps but no point thinking and yearning for and missing someone who doesn't feel the same way. Although I'll have you know, your quirks and sayings that rubbed off on me have stuck and I think will stick to me for a bit if not just be a part of who I am. So you see people who have touched you do leave their mark =p. You were right too, I don't put myself out there and I really can actually find someone. I hate to have to agree with you on that but if you're right I'll admit it. However, to the person who said you'll wait for me till I've healed coz you've got all the time in the world, how long would you want to wait? I don't even know how long I'm going to take. & please don't tell me you don't mind if I'm not properly healed coz you can help make it better because do you really want to be with someone who will put you second place until she realises she's over the people before you? I know what second best and being less important feels like, I can't do that to you. And K, saying I have a memory of a goldfish really isn't helping to win me over ok? lol. Derek, buddy if you pop by I hope things are working out fine on your end. You've been great, I'll speak to you later if I get you in time yeah? My darling wife if ur reading this I'm sorry lol, but furbs saw my msgs n phone calls lol n was telling me I'm pretty sought right now and she's going to tell you... but pls know I won't be leaving you lol. All I need is you and mistress 1 right now. I swear I think these boys have a radar that goes off as soon as I feel like I need to let people/things go. It was like that with J too, as soon as we ended I had someone I haven't spoken to in ages talking to me and telling me he'd like to give us a shot again. Ker-ray-zee!! They'll never be you M2, they may be better but they're not you. I'm feeling the way you feel bout the other except you haven't 'invested' so many yrs into me... well sorry I wasn't around 3 yrs ago. Thanks =p (c'mon you know how i say that). Need to get you out of my head, it isn't fair ur in mine and I'm not in yours.
Seriously enough bout you, off to the gym, then chores and work that I should've done. Arghhhh baby steps, baby steps till i grad and set all my plans in motion. Can't wait for that actually. Something to look forward to, and omg I hope I'm still here for my birthday so I can celebrate the way I intend. Oh and good vibrations syd or melb dont let me down people lol I think I'm letting myself down with the money I do not have... ughh. Aight gotta really run now. Another post later if I get bored more like when .. heh... gotta start on washing.. poor spongebob needs to get washed again lol.. sorry wifey =p