THE ONE WITH THE WAIT
I dislike waiting, I shan't use hate here. Hate is just sucha strong word. How I see it, waiting either disappoints or satisfies you. You either don't get what youre waiting for or you do. Meanwhile, before that conclusion comes, there's just this empty void. You take things as they come. It's this void that makes you feel all empty and hollow inside. Like you're not capable of doing anything just because you want to know the outcome of that wait. I'm not making much sense am I? When I was thinking about it though, it did. Maybe I'm just bad at putting things down in words.
You're probably thinking, so why wait if you think it's that bad? (I really shouldn't start a sentence with because...) Because sometimes when you're patient and willing enough to wait, things might, and I'm saying might, just happen to go your way. It's a fifty-fifty chance, and like I was told before, if you don't take the risk all ur doin is riskin ur own success. Somewhere along the lines.
Moving along, my birthday's next month!! Ha Ha.. yeah well I hadta announce it and give you a heads up somehow so you won't lose out at gettin me a gift.. LoL Oh you know Yellowcard's Lights & Sounds is pretty good, that's what I heard ... oh and dorothy perkins actually have some very nice basic tops goin cheap like you get two for 20% off. I think that's still going on. Oh and Simple Plan's Live at Hard Rock or sumthin like that.. I can't really remember the title, but I know it's got a black cover.. I heard that's pretty smashing too. Anything, well almost anything, that looks punkish as in they come in the shade of black, white and hot pink together (e.g. bag, shoes, shirt heheh) is acceptable as gifts.. Yeah well I think I made some stuff obvious enough :P But really, I don't think I'm gonna get any of those. Year after year I make a list only to get things that arent in there or not get anything at all. SO it's all good. As long as it's from the heart or even if u text me I more than appreciate it. Now I sound real desperate and shameless :S
At the end of this entry, I'm still at the same status... that is I'm still waiting.. April is only a coupla days away... sigh.. oh well I'm hungry .... gonna go grab some grub.. ciaoz
THE ONE WITH THE CONSTANT REPLAY
The songs on my computer have been on replay for as long as my lappie has been on. Sometimes I have my headphones on and I dont even realise that the songs have ended their run. Then bout twenty minutes later I'll wonder why it seems so quiet. It's really amazing how oblivious I am to things sometimes. It scares me too, it's like I'm lost in a world of my own, unaware of everything. I hate it when I'm like that. It's like I haven't got a direction.
In a way I do lack the sense of direction. I'm livin each day as it comes. At least waitin for the results left me with something to look forward to. I have however, been planning my next step. Just that things sometimes take a while before they materialise. Not like I've been doin nuthin bout my future. Now I'm thinkin waitin for the results is a whole lot better despite the anxiety and sleepless nights. Typical human nature, never satisfied with what one has, always wishing for something else. Oh, so that makes me pretty normal. =p
I am actually lookin forward to tomorrow, coz we might be headin over to my grandaunt's for some family thing. I am actually excited bout meeting up with the family... wow!! Been awhile since I've met up with the cousins and the uncles and aunties. So yeah, you people who's been askin if I'm coming better make your appearance so I can have someone to hangout with.
I actually started this entry with so many things to blog about (as usual). I kinda lost them along the way ... so yeah.. I'm out. Gotta go find them.
THE ONE WHERE THE WORST IS OVER
Here's the much requested update (right..), your wish is my command.
As the title suggests, the big day came and went. I got what I deserved and no, as much as I'd like to think that I did so very well, I didn't. My results were mediocre if not atrocious and although it sounds like it, I AM NOT PROUD OF THEM. I suppose at the end of the day it was a lesson that was really painful to learn from. Lesson nontheless. No use crying over spilt milk right? Right. Yes, I know, I should really stop conversing with myself. Can't help it though, I'm such a spitfire I amaze myself :P
So now I'm exploring my limited options. What I'm saying is this, although I think most people would've already known it by now, be sure of what you want and work for it. I think for the most part, I wasn't sure if the A levels was what I wanted. Too late to say that now, considering the crap that is my results, but it's true. I was there for three years, going with the flow, doing the very thing we were warned not to do when we first stepped into that school. I keep telling myself I won't do it, but hey look at me, doesn't stop me from not doing it now does it? My priorities were pretty screwed and if given the chance I'd start over now that I know where I went wrong. Sometimes falling down real hard teaches you to pick yourself up with a whole new outlook and to improve your walk so it won't happen again.
That aside, as someone said, I should start on a new slate. So moving along, I went out today with my RM/ confidante/ person I look up to/ well the list will go on but you went out with me, you know who you are aight? :P We went to some cafe I spose (not gonna mention names coz ppl might not go to the place or something) but the thing is this, the place was really ok it was jus me who was weird. We were given the table at the end and most corner and I was thinking 'yay!! cosy spot'. Then when I finally sat down, one thought hit me... a thought that should've occured to me when I stepped into the place. I CAN'T STAND COFFEE!! The table was right next to where they ground the freakin coffee beans!! I had to constantly inhale my companion's order (i.e. a tiny pot of tea). I think it looked like I was snorting coke or sumthin.
I had fun tho, very much cheered up and I think I'm more clear about certain things that I need to be really sure about. Plus I came back with one of Patricia Cornwell's book in hand. =D hmmm what else? I guess that's it. I gotta go pen down stuff as suggested by the person I went out with. Need to get the nitty gritty sorted before I do anything. So see ya. I'll post another when I'm up for it aite? Have fun kiddos... not too much :P